I didn’t know that was the last time I would pour a latte, at least in that shop with its peeling walls and aesthetic stairway – a place so pretty from the other side of the bar.
I didn’t know that when I signed that contract, I was signing away a passion that was newly developed but quickly trampled by unrealistic standards and unrelenting anxiety.
I didn’t know that the flame of inner motivation that made me a straight-A student from kindergarten to college would suddenly and entirely die out, without a flicker of inspiration left to even pick up a book.
I knew life would be different after college, but I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of being chewed up and spit out by the experiences I attempted and the careers I thought I wanted.
I took enough classes to have a minor in French. I could write a several-page essay in French by the end of college, but, when it came to using the language in its actual country, I found I needed to learn an almost entirely new language in order to communicate and live effectively.
My experience in France reminds me of the reality check that happens after leaving college behind. It’s a conversation I haven’t heard enough: going from college with its auto-generated community and consistent, consistently busy schedule to facing the “real world.” It’s almost like learning a new language because of the different approach it takes to build relationships, maintain financial, physical, and mental stability, and communicate well.
Gaining fluency in this “language” means understanding that it’s worth it to have high goals for the future, but that these just make the fall back to reality all the more painful. It’s learning that life in the real world is a balancing act of hurt and healing; of reaching too high or setting the bar too low. But it’s also full of positives: establishing independence and a lasting community, achieving or erasing old goals, and making new ones.
If I have any conclusion or lesson learned, it’s this: to hold loosely those ideals and expectations that belong to the dream world – the high-paying job, the picture-perfect marriage, or the ability to get on a plane and travel whenever and wherever you want to (let’s be real, I’m still hanging on to that dream!).
Instead, hold on tightly to reality (in other words, what really matters): the love in relationships with people who truly care about you and your well-being; the joy that is found in making memories, no matter how simple or close to home; your faith in God who has brought you this far.
Mastering the Mastermind 