I found my seat on the bus back to Cairo and started to cry. Our short-term team had spent the week working with an organization in Egypt, and we had just said heartfelt goodbyes to the local team as we prepared to travel back to the States. I was a little confused at my immediate, intense emotion; we had made incredible connections and friendships in such a short time, but I was used to saying goodbye.
The bus hit bumps in the dusty road as I was hit with sudden clarity and memories. I remembered my goodbye to my college best friend when she moved overseas after we graduated. My goodbye to my brothers when they left for college. My goodbye to my close-knit family when I moved to France, my baby sister wrapping her arms around me and not letting go until the last possible moment. My goodbye to my host-family in France when I moved back, my French “mom” walking with me through the Paris airport until we reached security, tears streaming down her face. My goodbye to my roommate when she got married at her new home in a different country.
I was starting to realize that along with these goodbyes to the precious people in my life simultaneously came the goodbyes to seasons and stages in my life. When my college best friend moved, I was saying goodbye to the years we had spent surviving and/or thriving through college. When my brothers left for college, I was saying goodbye to our childhood together. When I said “au revoir” to my French family, I was also saying goodbye to a country and culture I wanted to claim as my own. When I said goodbye to my roommate, I was closing the door of the little house off North Main where we lived two full years that held some of the happiest days of my life.
I’ve heard the saying “it’s not goodbye; it’s see you later.” The common consensus is that goodbyes are intimidating and their finality better off avoided. I would reason that instead, they are important for grieving and growth. A goodbye is a reminder of the love and friendship that make saying it that much harder. The word hurts but brings healing with it, carrying a conclusiveness that ends chapters of the past while promising a future of hellos.
I’m no good at goodbyes, but I’m learning to find the good in them.
Mastering the Mastermind 